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Let's Laugh!

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Random thoughts:

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone?
That's common sense leaving your body.
I didn't make it to the gym today.  That makes five years in a row.
I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim.
I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought “Nap Time” was a punishment.
Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

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I have to put everything in my calendar to pop up with a reminder to do such and such. Of course that doesn't help when I don't put it in my calendar....

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